muackzz

寂寞的夜里~没了朋友的生活。。一个个回了，家里安静的下来只有我跟他？？怕怕哟。。

突然想起~那天晚上。。好想回到你身边。。尤其是。。hem hem..。。^^

help help me

wow,finish serving...yeah..
11.25pm d....still tired....im exhausted d...soso tired....serving???is not a gud job!!ma hai~my leg pain till cnt walk..my finger keep shaking..my hand muscle lost energy d...pukimak...till nw keep asking myself y i choose tis course!!regret!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wat hapen to me again..i wan b normal..cn i?

nw is 8.55a.m...feel stressing nw...
2day to go..den i die.....................argh!!dunoe y  my heart cnt stop beating nw..n my mind start jam early in de morning!!!i dun wan de feeling again...haiz...make me sleep oso hard to breath...duh....reli nid c doctor to cure my mind n heart d..ored 2years .reli 2 years i hide myself so tat i cn b normal as u ppl well..bt nw i cnt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wat shud i do...i cnt decided...wan eat wat i duno,wan choose wat i duno,wan go class i duno..damn jam la..n nw my heart start beating so fast again...n breath hard!!!!!!!!!!!!i feel wana end my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

fucking day!!!fucking week....shit!!!

haiz...wtf life...cibai..magu...

唉~到底怎么了？我好不开心。。。心很不定！！！

对你没信心，还是我自己的问题？唉。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。救命啊。。我快疯了。。。

everythg getting prob....fuck....aduh...................................................................

next week how???how?how.？reli stress till..........................................fuck!!reli worried..thk to9 will start bad dream till next wed !!hw?????wat i cn do bsides stress!!y everytime like tis,,die lo....reli dying gtis time,,,,,,

tired kitchen week

so tired...reli tired..

rest 4 one month..all getting wrong las9....4get all de step n de skill of cutting bcum worse n worse... duno hw to take my final.....!!las9 saw group9 serving..aduh..Y___Y..reli scared d...de plate bcum more n more hard..me??hw??next week is my turn to serve...die lo....i hate it...n de restaurant so big..duh....

haiz....

duno wat hapen to me...las9 haiz....cook oso hav prob d

reli jialat...n tired more,new campus no water again..almoz faint...n  keep scolding by chef..wtf!!!!bt de 1 reli hapi coz de claim soup wow,i like it so muc..cz all de ingredient i cut by my own although take a long time...hehehe,erm,..muz add oil..lol..hahahhahaha//

miz my hubby so muc.skul opening d,no time acc my hubby..so so sori n sad too...de following week will more buz den tis,,dunoe hw?>.<...muakzz..B.i alwaz b wit u.....

我爱你~dudu....爸爸

现在是3.14pm。。。刚到家。。
哈哈哈。。好想老公哦~本来以为自己很坚强的。。。哪里知道看到老公的blog时。。真的掉下眼泪了。。我好想你~很舍不得老公~
短短三天，我很开心，就算既不开心也好。。还是有你在。。我真的开心起来了。。
看着我们的照片。。我觉得真的很幸福。。很幸福。。哈哈哈。。。
老公阿~就算发生什么事。。我还是 很爱你的。也为了你变。。也不会再让老公担心。。因为。。。我也深深爱你了。。。

代价就是一句活该！！

nw is 2.54a.m  ..jz finish talking with hubby..

今天终于把所有事说出来了 ~轻松多了。。

傻瓜老公~怀疑了为什么不问呢？？傻傻的猜。。其实最错的是我。。。没把事实告诉你

放在心里很久了，终于的说了。。也是第三个看到我流泪说的真心话。。以前对june 和 qiqi说原因他们都觉得不值得。。不过你却支持我。。。其实，原因很简单。。因为利用而已。。金钱，学业。。还有些事。。也为了自己不会失去很多一切所以选者这条路。。

这两年来，伤心回避开心的多。。流的泪也比笑的多。。很辛苦。。真得很辛苦。。的走。也没有人知我的感受，

也许，我是金钱的傀儡。。。一向把金钱看的很重要的我。。到底要几时醒来！！！不过。再忍三个月，三个月后~亲爱的。。我答应你。。我愿意为你改过。。只要你给我机会。给我时间。。。因为我怕了，真的帕了

再多难走。。也要走下去。答应 爸爸事情，怎么做不到，不管用什么手段也好，怎么贱也好。。怎么狠也好。。我一定会做到最好，不会让你在对我失望！不过~我真的有点累了。。也许是代价。。

还有很多苦要说，不过。。说不完。。。。。。。。

do u feel it???

today ~ feel tired...
mayb las9 late sleep..n today i wake up few  times n talk wit my cute hubby....den sleep in peace...hahahahaa

dn nw is 11.12pm...my hubby nw mayb buz wit his frend..hahaha...err...act i wan sleep bt no lo...to dizzy d..n feel wan vomit...bluek,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
haiz....duno wat to do tomolo..wan watch mv bt almoz money finish le.....hw?ahahha..over spend again tis month...haven 1 month....
erm....nthg to write d i thk....bt i wan tell my s2p hubby..i love u....do u feel it???hahaha

你不明白我，还有谁呢？

你不明白我，不用经，我不生气，不发脾气，让我知道你想什么就可以了。。。
也许我不是好的女朋友。。。也不体贴，但我很珍惜每段感情。。。全部来自真心。。
或许这样让你感觉不到。。我不怪你。。只能怪我不懂得表达。。在我生命里，很多的人进进出出。。不过现在走进来的我很清楚是谁。。。那个就是你。。。过客也已经过了。。现在的你在我心里是个贵客。。不只是在某个角落。。是在我心里。。脑海里。。。！！我爱你~我很少会说出口。。不过太长说出口就不可贵了。。我不懂浪漫，不知表达。。难道也是我的错，让你误会？？？我的生活方式真的让你那么怕？？？好，我其实已经慢慢的改变。。。只是你看不到。。

死恶魔！！！走开

突然哪个没礼貌的人。。进来我房间，跟他说几次了可以不要没有礼貌吗。。。我有我的自由！！！！真的很累面对你！！！你告诉我。。原来我是这样的人。。。！！fucker.....我只是想逃避你。。不要看到你的鸡白脸而已。。真的sienz死看到你的那张脸。。。。。很希望。。你快离开我的世界。。快走开死恶魔！！！！我的心有几烦。。。真的很对不起老公。。。我真的没心情聊天。。我真的。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。很恨他。。。非常的讨厌。。为什么到这种地步，你还是想不通。。为什么我会一直离开你逃避你。。。是因为我要的是自由！！！我不需要你那种爱。。我不需要你那种保护！！我不要也不希罕！！！我宁愿受伤都不必你来关心。。。能够做到这种方式对你。。你应该清楚我有几多不需要你!!!!就算我说了几百次，几千个心里话，你还是不明白。。你要我怎么解释？？？？？每次跟你解释我想要得东西我都会说到眼泪流下来。。不是我难过。。是我觉得我自己笨干吗说也说不明！！！你看我流泪。。你就好好对我，就做到很了解我，不过过后呢？你还是一样！！！我的天啊。。为什么会有你这样的男人。。为什么会那么恐怖，为什么会跟你这种人在一起？想了，我都觉得而恶心！！！

朋友算什么？换来一句~算你是乞丐？？？

刚才做了一个恶梦！！！睡不下了。。。所以就起来写blog....

haiz.......so bored life here too......aduh....
yesterday nitez...i heard frm my hsmate......my frends(sum1)who saying tat he is 乞丐！！wat de fuck gal lo....
im still remember im de 1 who pity her ask her cum n live at my room..coz she didnt hav place to stay at moment...n she promises us will move out frm begining of las sem(3months ago)..n after tat without telling me she decided wan stay at my house after holiday..nid other ppl to tell me too...bt b4 i promises sum1 ored to live wit me in 1 room...den im de 1 who call bec u ask weither u stay onot..nt urself telling me....haiz...den u promise me will move out b4 i gobec kl(bcuz i bec late)...magu~all is lie..when i bec...u tell me ur father apartment havent finish renovatiobn so nid find a room to share wit my another frend（tat move in with her de）.den we wait her to find..but never!!!oklo...we jz start wait.....after months u oso haven move...den my hsmate dun wan pay rental bcuz of u!!all wan force u out!!n u lastly promise u will move b4 december....den we bliev....who noe....start dec u havent move..den u say wan move wat day wat day..bt no too..till 4th dec  u tell us u wan go ipoh..bt u say bec le will move..bt when u bec le is ored 7th dec..our holiday start 10thdec..den when my hsmate noe..dey start argueing！！！ i feel shame too....cz im de 1 owez lie by ur promises...den dey decided to ask u pay dec rental bcuz ored 1 week d....den we wait u cum bec onot tat day ,if nt u reli nd pay...den u tell u didnt bec on7th..means u nid pays...den dey say ask me tel u ..den u say jz put laguage...ppl nt staying dere nt nid pay....n  u dun hav money nw...walao....wher gt like tat oo..if u stay at hotel ur thg put dere oso nid pay de ma........reli s2p....!!wat a frend like u oo..i dun understand..hav money buy a dog($1000)..bt no  money ppay rental....den wat u say to others!!say ppl is 乞丐？？？你不觉得太过分了吗？？那如果哪个人是乞丐。。那你是什么。。那你就是难民了阿！！！ 鸡蛋糕。。。想了下。。如果没有我们你还不是要找地方住，还不是还更多钱。。还不这样利用我那么久了，还每次摆脸色给人看我们有计较过吗！！！笨女人~醒下拉。。。。还有。。。刚才另个hsmate说。。你丢sabah人脸 。。我觉得。。非常对！！！我觉得还丢东马人脸还差不多！！！

怕的感觉

突然的号码掉了下来~我真的很怕~眼泪不小心的流了下来~不知道会发生什么事~
我很寂寞..可是不觉得想出去..只想留在家...........我不知道自己还能维持多久..我真的很痛心听到你对我说的话~原来一直以来我在你心里是一个不好的女朋友....你告诉我我很久没对你说我爱你~那我问你。。。。如果我爱你能代表一切那我真的无言。。。你一直对我说我对你都不好。。那请问下我要怎么做才是好？？难道那种关系真的很重要吗？？我只能做到这么好了~可是现在我什么都不想做了。。因为我很灰心了。。也绝望！！请你respect我。。。世界上不只有你一个人生存，请为人想想~我很累真的麻木了。。所以我选者离开。。因为我不想过那种生活。。我怕。。我很怕你！！！！说实话，自从被你打后我很怕你。。因为。。。觉得你很没安全感！！我只是你女友就被你打不知几次了。。。。希望我可以忘掉。忘掉那些黑影。。
当你靠近我时，我真的很怕。。。很恐惧。。。再说号码掉了下来什么怕又来了

for u during my trip n buz time...muakzz

Oredi 2 days i didnt uptade my blogger d..

sure some1 will miss rite??.....hahahahha...errr..

ermm....duno wat to write neh..

tomolo 4thjan i nid bec KL d..hehe..feel a bit hapi cz at least hav place to ge freely..n cn c my bubu and meemee too..n my lovely sarawakian frend..vicky sia...hahahha

im so sorry to her cz salah bagi date im goin bec..haha..make her salah book ticket too/..den we oni cn meet at 5th..hehe..tdk dapat sama balik ridzuan..hahahhaa

wat i ned do tomolo nite neh??err..o stay at home talk wit hubby??or ..go out wit my hsmate..bt..i nid safe money 4 my trip neh.,,

err,say bout my trip...im so so excited although i ored go melaka many times..bt tis times is wit my vicky..sure she will bring me go anywher i like..hahahha..i wan go safari..tat is my hope..hahha..

hopefully de hotel nt full bt when i c at net ored fully book..omg!!bt  i wan go...hhaha..den i oso wan go portugis village..miz de food so muc..esp de seafood..yummy~

den if cn wan ajak charlie (club kaki)go clubbing....hahaha..melaka famous wit club..if go melaka muz try oo..hhaha.n hav cheap beers n drinks..haha..n alot of small pretty gals inside

erm..lastly part is for my hubby geh~

i noe when u mis me u will open n c geh~hahha

erm..i hope i will spend time more wit u....bt i thk when at melaka i cnt ans n often call dear le...cz buz fooling around...but i still miz de ime talking wit dear de...

last bt nt least,we will meet soon..so anywher miz dear..n c u soon o...hahahha...i love u dear..

i wll try my best upload my pict during my trip 4 u to c ur s2p gf go wher le....of course in dear heart la..hahhahhahaha,,okla..stop here...cz i jz receuve ur msg tell me u jz bec n wan bath..den i nid stop here prepare calling dear le..hahhaa...the time nw is 9.26pm...duno we will talk till wat time leh..hahahha 

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